I'm having trouble blogging lately. Heck, I'm having trouble doing much of anything lately. Mostly because I don't have the time. Keeping up with two toddlers is pretty much taking every ounce of energy that I have….which is not much. When I do have some down time or alone time, I'm either taking a nap or trying to pay bills or do the dishes.
Being in this phase of my life…this phase that is so unnatural to me….the displacement. It's so hard for me. I'm trying to find the joy in things but it's tough. The highlight of my days are when we go check on the progress of the house but then we have to come back to this little apartment and there's no escaping anything. I miss my space. My quiet space.
Since the tornado, many have told me how much they admire my strength through all of this. The truth is, I'm not that strong. My strength is not my own. What strength I do have comes from my faith….from God. Without Him I'm just a hot mess.
I know there's a reason for all of this. There is a bigger plan than I can't see right now. I know this because I've been here before. I've lost my home. I've been displaced. It's not easy. In fact, I was already dreading the days to come as we were hunkered down in the storm shelter as that monster of a tornado was ripping apart my house…family members' houses…our community.
But….yes, there's a but. The displacement is only temporary. I know this but it doesn't make it any easier. I will trudge through these days with a thankful heart. I'll try to focus on the joyful moments rather than the not so joyful. I will quit worrying about what gets done and what doesn't and just try to take full advantage of the free time I do have.