October 25, 2013

Mom Life: Breakdowns bring about change

If you missed Part One of Mom Life, you can catch up here.

Not long after I dozed off, I woke up to the sounds of Hubs coming in from work. I had texted him earlier asking him to pick up the carpet shampooer from storage. When he asked why I gave him a brief synopsis of what had happened.

He walked into the room and I told him the girls needed a reprieve. He set a fresh caramel macchiato down on my night stand, walked out of the room and shut the door. I am so thankful not only for a God that gives me grace but for a husband that does too.

I stayed in bed a little longer. Sipped on my caramel macchiato and replayed the events of the day. I did not like the way I acted. I have had little meltdowns in the past but I'd just give myself a time out and then I'd be ok. But this time? This was my worst moment since becoming a mom. I needed to find a solution. A way to handle the girls and control my own behavior.

It wasn't long after hearing them playing through the monitor that I calmed down. You see, even though I can get pretty angry and frustrated with them, I still want to hug and kiss their little cheeks. They bring me much more joy than frustration.

We are in the midst of change. A big change. And I am not handling this change very well….or at least not the process of change.

The answer to my problem starts with me…the mom.

I'm not sure the girls are aware that where we are living now is only temporary. We take them with us when we go out to the house but do they realize that that is our home? Probably not. But you know what? It doesn't matter. All they need to know is that they have a kind and loving mom (and dad) that would do anything for them regardless of our circumstances. I've known this in my heart from the moment we were displaced, but it doesn't make this process any easier.

We have continued to have rough days this week. Parenting is a process so this change isn't going to happen overnight. However, I have been able to make some observations about my challenging little 2 year olds and have come up with a plan to hopefully keep our meltdowns at bay.

To be continued………

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1 comment:

  1. I am very proud of you as a mom and and a person and that you know where your hope and help are found.


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